Encounters of the periodical kind

A co-worker came into the office this afternoon saying that she found a used condom on the floor of the journal section of the library. I asked her how she got rid of it, and she said she used a bottle to move it into the garbage. It's no one's business what goes in between the sheets, but in between the shelves? I wonder where "the act" took place... we have carrels (small study rooms) on another floor, and I wouldn't be surprised to find prophylactics inside one of those places, which has happened to some of my co-workers at another library. We do have larger rooms on the journal floor, but all of those have windows looking into the room. I know the whole thing is pretty grody, but I also kind of understand the sexual mystique of libraries.

I've worked at a library since I was a teenager. I worked a few hours a week at the library in my high school for a couple of years. When I got to university I got a job at the main campus library, eventually working in two departments at the same time until I dropped out of school. I then got a full time job at the same library, and worked there for seven years while I went back to school part time. I've since graduated and moved to another library, but I'm still working on-campus. It's in my blood, I guess. My mother worked at the same university library as I did for almost 35 years, and my sister is a supervisor at another on-campus library. I'll never become a librarian, though; I've got to do something much more creative with my life.

I'm getting off track, however, because I was talking about the sexiness of libraries. Even in high school I was attracted to the ideal "hide and seek" layout of the library, and how fun it would be to have a game of kissing tag while scurrying on tiptoe along the book shelves. I think the quietness adds to the taboo quality of a library; not only are there tonnes of hiding places to find that are never completely out of view, but one has to repress all sound, which adds to the excitement that emanates from any room laden with rows of book shelves. It's like the amusement kids derive from doing something they're not supposed to do heightened by the adult anticipation of sexual activity. I'm sure I'm not the only one to feel this way, which is obvious, I guess, by the repeatedly found used condoms. I don't think I would dare do anything so... public, but if you're into it, I'm sure it's pretty effin gratifying. I think hide-and-go-seek just on its own would get me giddy. Now if only I could get my mitts on a key to the library for after-hours play.... hee hee hee.

Next, please.