The Alarm Virgin

The shock and fear that travels across a patron's face when he or she sets off the alarm upon entering or exiting the library is really a funny sight. Most libraries have some kind of security alarm that makes a loud, annoying sound when it detects a book that hasn't been properly desensitized. Most people take the cumbersome barricades located just inside the doors for granted until they set the things off, and then they're suddenly awoken out of their own little worlds and sent into a panic, wondering whom they've murdered.

One woman went through the security barricades today and off the sirens went. Caught completely off guard, she searched for what was making the high-pitched racket and stopped to stare in awe at the small flashing light atop the structure. I had to interrupt her insta-trance with a, "Helloooo? Do you have books from another library? Any DVDs? CDs? Textbooks? Uncharged books from this library... ?". She needed me to repeat my series of inane questions when she finally came over to the desk. I don't think this woman will ever be the same again. Hopefully the new habit she'll suffer of flinching every time she walks through the sensors will slowly wane over time.

This patron has indeed lost her library alarm virginity. Those clumsy-looking fences that obscure the exit are not seen for what they really are until they stop you in your tracks and alert the authorities. You come to understand their significance differently once you've set those babies off, and you never forget what they've put you through. The next time you want to leave the library you'll be a little more conscious of what you might have to face, especially after becoming wise to the library's odd dual personality as a place of privilege and of punishment. Its two-faced demeanour makes us slightly uncomfortable when we enter it, and attracts the strangest people to its shelves and study spaces. A place where you get books for free (oh fortunate souls!) and where you're deemed guilty of theft until proven innocent makes for a conflicted dwelling place. And yet we are all card-carrying pigeons. We're all willing to lose our virginity some time. Those of us who don't, well, they're just plain lucky... or know how to the rip the tattle tape out of the books.

Next, please.