Ignoramus

I had a funnily confused patron come into the library the other day. She came to the circ desk and said that she had found a title that belonged to our library, according to the catalogue, and she needed to know where to go to retrieve the book. Miracle of miracles, she had noted which of our various collections it belonged to, which is an unusual thing for most people who come to the desk wondering where they need to go to find their books. When I told her which floor that particular collection was on, however, she asked, "How do I find the book?". Sadly, this student had unwittingly failed to record the most important piece of information: the call number. When I asked her if she had the call number of the book, she looked at me with confusion, having never heard the term before. I should add that I'm someone who not only wears her heart on her sleeve, but who can't hide her amusement, no matter the inappropriateness. So my eyes betrayed my inner laughter as I explained that call numbers are the system we use to organize the books. How on earth did someone get to university without ever having encountered a library call number, you ask? I'm heartily sorry to say that I have absolutely no clue as to the answer to that question. Fortunately for her, the student did remember the title of the book and I was able to provide her with the call number.

A little while later, I left the circ desk to take my dinner break. As I approached the doorway to the stairwell, the same clueless patron came up to me with the book she was looking for in hand. She said, "This book isn't as big as I had expected". Then came silence as she looked to me for an answer. The book was, in fact, more like a pamphlet in size and length, but I didn't see what that had to do with me. Eyes laughing once more, I asked, "What would you like me to do?" (make the book bigger?). She asked where the computers were so that she could search the catalogue again. I pointed her in the right direction and made my way to my office, shaking my head in disbelief and chuckling all the way.

Next, please.