Bloggin' a floggin'...

I joined the well-known fitness gym called “Curves” last week and went for my third workout yesterday morning. There were a couple of young women there who, it seemed, were just starting the programme, but they were already very slim. Of course, weight is no indication of fitness, and these girls had a bit of struggle getting through the circuit. Anyway, the Curves coach working yesterday morning was a little bit on the heavy side, even though it’s apparent that she is in pretty good shape fitness-wise. I got the feeling, however, that when Skinny 1 and Skinny 2 had finished the workout and the coach decided they needed some ab training afterwards, it wasn’t because these girls had asked or even wanted to be pushed further. I heard Skinny 1 say, while being led to the mats, that she only wanted to do aerobic exercises for now. I can’t say for sure (because I wasn’t inside her mind) but I think the coach took particular delight in making these pretty, thin young things do crunches. Watching their expressions while they aggravatingly pushed themselves and complained probably made the coach feel that there can be, indeed, a little justice created for the fatter women of the world.

After this amusing incident I reflected on how I could go about finding a little justice for library workers everywhere. Sure, the union buttons that say “library workers make libraries work” is effective in a rah-rah, “Heck No! We Won’t Go!” kinda a way (which isn’t at all my style). But I think it would be totally cool if, instead of demanding fines, we demanded push-ups, or more embarrassingly, jumping jacks. More people can do jumping jacks than push-ups, and the flailing limbs of those who can’t (wusses!) would make the “punishment” all the more entertaining, worthwhile, and deterring. While aiming for people’s wallets is often an effective means to convincing them to see things your way, a physical punishment (short of beating certain patrons to a pulp with their own body parts…. ahh, to dream! See libraryosis.blogspot.com) in which they have to do all the work would be ideal. That or announcing over the P.A. the patrons’s name and amount owing whenever he or she wants to sign out a book might be enough to scare them into bringing their books back on time. This is exactly why I don’t like the union: no creativity whatsoever is encouraged or allowed!

Then there are some of the library employees, who deserve some sense and a reality check knocked into them from time to time. Why are so many librarians so territorial about collections, going so far as to keep the readers (!) from getting their hands on “their” books, never mind the lowly circulation clerks and book sorters. Sometimes I want to grab one of these anti-social, ego-maniacal biddies and shake them while screaming “THESE BOOKS DON’T BELONG TO YOU!! NOW GET THEM ON THE SHELF BEFORE THEY GET AS OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE READING PUBLIC AS YOU ARE OR WE’LL PUT YOU IN COMPACT STORAGE, TOO!!”. BuT wHaT dO i KnOw...

Next, please.